Please note: I am not able to accept new clients at this time.

You just want to get back to how you were. When things felt easy. When it was effortless to give love and be loved in return. Somewhere along the way, you lost your way in the relationship. You're feeling disconnected and lonely, you're tired of it all being so hard all the time. You're scared to even try to connect because you are worried about the next fight and just don't have the energy for it.

​

We've all heard it a ton of times - the so familiar refrain of "relationships are hard." And they are - sometimes. But not all the time. Great relationships are not all sunshine and rainbows. They are about having many more positive interactions than negative ones. They are about learning what is important to your partner, and to you, and you both prioritizing those needs for each other. The are about feeling your partner has your back. That your partner is a huge fan and supporter of you. That you both support each other as individuals and have your own sense of identity, and also have a sense of shared meaning as a couple. 

​

It also means that when something happens and you disagree or argue, that you learn and implement the important skill of how to argue well. There is arguing just about the "content" - the surface level stuff that gets you stuck in the same fights all the time and seems to go nowhere. And then there is arguing where you are able to express what is underneath that initial frustration - that is the "process" level - and it is when we learn to communicate on this deeper level that we are able to reconnect with our partner and make positive change forward. It's learning to slow down and communicate that you're not really this mad about the dishes not being done, but the fact that you feel your request was ignored, and your feelings and wishes weren't a priority to your partner. That you are not feeling like a priority to your partner. And, it's about saying this in a way your partner can hear, so they can respond to you and let you know your value to them. It's about you doing this same thing for your partner, too.

​

These patterns of interaction are what build safety, trust and a sense of belonging in relationships. It's what helps us feel happy when we're with that person. 

​

It's not the absence of problems that makes your relationship. It's how you choose to handle those challenges that defines it. And that's a big part of what we work on in therapy, to help you make progress on the rules around how you interact with each other. It's like a drop in water - it will have a ripple out effect on all of your interactions when you learn to communicate and respond to each other's needs in this way.

​

If you would like to learn more and see if we would be a good fit to work together, check out next steps below.